shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
