I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
