new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
