is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
