hotel room ftw
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
