dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
