if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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