Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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