he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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