im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
