y did u give ur computer a hand job?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Say something about gay babies.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
