ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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