We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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