if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
