maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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