Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
