Christians are straight up FREAKS
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
