In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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