the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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