What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
