ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
