I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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