Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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