You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My vagina just clenched in fear
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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