Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
