it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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