Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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