To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
