i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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