I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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