Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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