Where is the hickey?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
