Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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