i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
