yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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