i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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