Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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