its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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