why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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