He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
