Can i not drive my cunt home
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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