But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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