there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
