maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Randomize