It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
