ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
