i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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