I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
