The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
