wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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