Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
