i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
