sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
