i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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