so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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