New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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