Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Four minutes until I can fart!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
