but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
