hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
