We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
