you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
