My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my liver is dry heaving
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
