i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love having hate sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
