She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
