if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
