Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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