i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
