So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
