So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
